 |
| Credit: Packcik Google as always. 😎 |
Assalammualaikum and Hi Bestie!
Hm. Topik yang agak berat kali ini ya. What is marriage to you guys? Hm. Something to ponder a bit. Quite a burdensome to others kan? Macam, la pendapat aku hak aku la. Gitu.
Kalau tanya Atiq. Jawapan satu je. Lifetime commitment. Alhamdulillah my parents never pressures me about marriage. My Mom always said to get marry when you are ready or when you had enough of living alone.
Tapi tulah tak pernah pulak dia cakap living alone ni boleh jadi self sabotage. Hshshshs. Dia macam, I dah terlalu selesa hidup seorang so terfikir I tak boleh kalau orang kacau ketenteraman I. Maybe that is why marriage is a lifetime commitment to me.
Am I willing to share half of my life with someone? Willing to open up my space and let them invades? Hm. Not that soon I think.
One of the reason they never really bothers might because I told them during my study years I wanna get married at 30. Which Im nearing soooon! HAHAHAHA. Kena start kalut ke ni? Lol. JK.
Honestly seeing most of my friends around my age get married these days kinda warm my heart. Faham tak? Kita membesar sama sama, tak pun kita pernah lalui semua fasa pelik dalam kehidupan bersama then suddenly you found your soulmate for life. Awww. That is so sweet. Im happy for everyone. Really. 我很高兴！你们可爱。
But tbvh, actually I am ready to get married only because I want a kid of my own. Tapi boleh tak lepas dapat baby kita taknak suami kita tu? Call me stupid or what tapi I takut of having that BIG commitment of listening to a husband. I tak nak jadi wife yang bossy. But I found myself irritated bila someone took charge of my life.
Kalau ada anak tu sebab nak dia jadi anak yang independent dan juga sebagai best friend. Yela kita tak ada kawan sangat. Hm. Selfish kan? Mesti Atiq jadi one of mak yang tak peka dengan tumbesaran anak. Aaa risau. Call me overthinking but everyone wanted the best in their life.
Honestly kalau dah tak jumpa jugak lelaki yang boleh compromise dengan segala kekurangan diri ini, might as well look for a guy yang cuma nak anak jugak tapi kena berkemampuan la. Yang boleh bagi extra attention to the kids. Kerana, let say when things turn to be bad (cerai ke, ada masalah ke, kematian ke), harta I atau harta dia jatuh pada anak sahaja.
I ada duit sendiri, tak perlu lelaki itu nak menanggung hidup I. Lately ni banyak pulak kes orang complaint pasal biawak hidup and everything. Tak nak orang cakap I perempuan materialistik. Walaupun itu duit suami I. Tapi kalau I kahwin dengan dia sebab nak anak je tak ke I dikira mengambil kesempatan.
Hm. Dah merapu pulak malam malam ni ya. Entah la. Atiq doa yang baik baik jela untuk diri ini dan semua yang membaca post random ini. Sesungguhnya saya rasa dah ready tapi saya nak cari orang yang willing tunggu saya ready mental. Yela, keputusan penting hidup dan mati ni. Kbye!
With Love,
Atiq 💓
